OUR WEDDINGS
The old times (1960s & 70s)
In the bygone days wedding ceremonies were simple, a combination of spiritual and traditional rites. Protocol between the families was observed with mutual respect and courtesy. The marriages and associations were stable and durable. People were, in general, more contented and led simple family orientated lives, and as a result divorces were virtually unknown.
Big fat Indian weddings
These days, despite palatial, resplendent ceremonies and display of wealth, our relationships are hollow. The divorce rate is on the increase. Thousands of pounds are spent on sumptuous dinners in the course of multi-phased marriage observances such as civil marriage, ring ceremony, sangeet day (ladies musical event), stag and hen parties. These are followed by elaborate wedding receptions where the disco DJs make sure no rational dialogue takes place between guests. Some guests, unable to conduct a conversation, appear bored and tend to eat more than they should, which explains the rise of obesity amongst the Asian population. People of all ages, predominantly young, dance away to loud cheap music and lyrics. This doesn’t stop men, in their seventies and eighties, merrily dancing away with daughters, and daughter-in-laws. Old protocols, which were once religiously followed fly out of the window.
The irony of all this is that, despite the lavish ceremonies and the huge expense, some marriages don’t last beyond their honeymoon, the couple flying back to separate homes. Some that do survive the honeymoon period risk separation within a year or two. Divorces are not only unpleasant and acrimonious; they also tend to line up the pockets of solicitors and barristers.
Conclusion
We need to consider the pros and cons of our life styles and customs. Before embarking upon an association we need to examine the basis of the relationship, the needs and aspirations of each partner. All the planning must not be restricted just to the day of the wedding, but must extend beyond that point, keeping in mind the future costs of home-making and servicing of loans. A forward plan of the couple’s aspirations must be drafted and agreed upon. Thousands of pounds wasted on unnecessary and ego-based ceremonies can be better deployed by investing in more durable commodities and comforts of life. This would vastly reduce the scope of disagreements and arguments and offer a richer, stable and durable married life.
DISPLACED PRIORTIES?
How things turn around; how times have changed!
It’s agony for brides and grooms to squat on a carpeted floor at the Gurdwara for long, but they can quite happily dance away for hours on the dance floor.
Where are we heading? It’s certainly a funny old world.
‘arshi’ July 2016